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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up: University Study Claims Doing This Unpleasant Thing Can ‘Cure Cancer’

A new study out of the University of Exeter is making a bold claim that smelling farts may be able to help cure cancer. Yes, I’m serious.

If the study proves to be credible, your local pharmacist may soon be handing you a FDA-approved can of human flatulence.

The Western Daily Press reports:

“The smell of flatulence has secret health benefits – and could help stave off cancer, strokes, heart attacks and dementia, scientists have revealed.”

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“It is toxic in large doses but in tiny amounts it helps protect cells and fight illness, according to boffins at Exeter University.”

We have yet to determine what exactly the measures might be between a medical grade fart versus a regular fart. However, according to Exeter “rotten eggs gas holds the key.” So, if you’re having health complications, it’s probably imperative that you eat several omelettes and lots of potato salad.

Let’s say the study yields effective results; imagine the financial benefits.  Chemotherapy runs about $70,000 per year, while a smelling a fart doesn’t cost anything but a little sniff that could make your stomach churn slightly.

Seriously though, we can appreciate the efforts of scientists trying to figure out how to cure illness. It’s just hard to take this study at face value, right? Or, should we all start stashing Chili Mac and practice our due diligence?


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