Concerned citizen calling for ban on hammers and alcohol

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no-drinking-sign1We now know that the government has the power to force Americans to purchase health insurance, but why should Washington and state governments stop there?  With the gun control debate raging from coast to coast in the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, now lawmakers are eyeing a ban on semi-automatic rifles.  Why?  Because they are dangerous, and no one should be allowed to have dangerous items.

But, this is really interesting.  According to this report, the FBI states that more people are murdered by hammers and clubs than with rifles:

For example, in 2011, there was 323 murders committed with a rifle but 496 murders committed with hammers and clubs.

While the FBI makes is clear that some of the “murder by rifle” numbers could be adjusted up slightly, when you take into account murders with non-categorized types of guns, it does not change the fact that their annual reports consistently show more lives are taken each year with these blunt objects than are taken with Feinstein’s dreaded rifle.

It’s time to clean out that tool drawer, because that hammer you received as last years’s Fathers Day present is about to be listed as an NFA Class III weapon.

Come to think of it, there’s one more killer that outpaces all of those objects in yearly fatalities.  Let’s have a look at alcohol, shall we?

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) 32,885 people died in traffic crashes in 2010 in the United States (latest figures available), including an estimated 10,228 people who died in drunk driving crashes, accounting for 31% of all traffic deaths last year. [The Century Council]

Well, I’m sure many crazy drunks will say that we should keep alcohol around because they like to drink recreationally, and if they use it responsibly, then they should be allowed to have it.  People never say that sort of rubbish about firearms.

So, there’s only one thing left to do: first, let’s place a cap on how large alcohol containers are allowed to be, because we know that no one would ever be irresponsible by drinking from more than one container (it works in New York City with soda -seriously, people are getting skinnier by the hour).  After that, let’s just shut down all breweries, wineries, distilleries, bars, and anyone who sells alcohol.  Then, we’ll just implement a nationwide ban, criminalizing alcohol consumption.  That ought to fix it.  (By the way, Al Capone never engaged in breaking prohibition laws in the 20′s …he was busted on tax evasion.  Bans always work.  Duh.)

But seriously, if we’re going to talk about whether or not guns kill people or people kill people, then let’s also talk about what would possibly lead someone to even want to use anything to kill anyone. This debate will not soon end, so let’s look at why these shootings – like the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting – continue to happen. Who knows, you might even help some mentally  troubled children out in the process…


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